This past year and a half my life took a turn I never expected and ended with my parents moving away for a year. This whole last week has been tumultuous emotionally as I prepared for thier departure. On the one hand, I'm excited that my parents get this much deserved and needed rest, on the other hand my heart aches from missing them so much. They have been an integral part of our lives for the past nine years there is a big empty hole left in our hearts by their absence.There have been times I've been tempted to climb into my bed, pull the covers over my head and wait till next September when they come back.
But I can't do that.
Sunday morning as my dad spoke about pruning the Lord spoke to me as well. I am being pruned in different ways from my dad, but it is pruning nonetheless. I knew that at that moment I could choose how I wanted to react to the pruning. I could kick and scream, cry and yell, pout and complain about the process.
I could lean into it. I could trust the Lord and what He is doing in the life of the church body, my parent's lives and my own family's life as well. Our Heavenly Father is the Great Multi-tasker. It always amazes me to see how many lives and the levels He is working on. Sometimes it's invisible, sometimes it's quick and miraculous, sometimes it's slow and stunted because of our refusal to allow Him to work in us. Nevertheless, He continues to work in our hearts and in our lives.
My point in writing this note is mainly for those of you who are a part of the TCF church body. Just like you, I am going through a growing time, a period of pruning that is painful, BUT I want you guys to know that Lord is holding me close, teaching me so much, and even though I am sad as I look at a year without my mom and dad, I am also anticipating what the Lord will be doing and the fresh fruit that will come of it. Sure, I have my difficult times in dealing with these things personally, BUT when I look at things from God's point of view, knowing there is a much bigger picture then what I see and that this is all for God's Glory, I have peace and His Joy becomes my strength.
It is all about Christ and I am clinging to Him with everything I have because I would be lost without Him. I have fallen apart plenty of times throughout this last year, but though I am "hard pressed on every side, I am not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed...Therefore I do not lose heart. Though outwardly I am wasting away, yet inwardly I am being renewed day by day. For my light and momentary troubles are achieving in me an eternal weight of glory that far outweighs them all. So I fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."(2 Corinthians 4:8-18).
My dear brothers and sisters, please pray for my family but do not forget to Thank Jesus for what He will accomplish in all of us as we grow through this year. I will be praying for you as well and joining you at church. A couple of folks asked if I would continue to attend TCF after my dad's last Sunday and I wanted you all to know that yes I would be. It was a difficult decision at first because, to be honest, I didn't want to. My pain was too great and I really just wanted to move myself to another state. In the last month the Lord has been working in my heart and He has given me His peace that passes all understanding, to remain a part of the Trail body. Yet one more thing I have learned in all this is that He gives me the strength to take on what is in front of me that day and it is good for me to NOT jump ahead and worry. Ahh, but that is a lesson I'll share in another blog :) .
For now I will close. I love you my dear Christian family and I thank you again for your prayers for this past year and this year to come. I will see you all on Sunday morning as we gather to worship our Saviour!
In His Grip,
(Yes, I know I stole that from my dad ;) I just thought it was fitting since that's exactly where I am...in Christ's Grip!)