Thoughtful insights on Sleepless Nights...

It's 12:30 in the morning and I should be snuggled up next to my husband dreaming sweetly of sugar-plumb fairies.

But I'm not. I can't sleep...obviously. Instead, I'm sitting at my computer pondering a not-so-funny comedy I watched and regretting the sugar binge I indulged in. I figured I should write down my thoughts now instead of tomorrow morning when I'll most likely wake with an intense dairy/sugar hangover. Thank goodness it's a Saturday and I don't have to get up too early.

Tonight I watched He's Just Not That Into You. I don't know why I watch these chic-flick, dramedy movies. The movie was such a sad commentary of what people are doing out there to find someone who will love them. There was the desperate-for-somebody-to-love-me girl that made a fool of herself for any man in hopes to find a mate. There was the sexy yoga teacher who falls for a man who is married but obviously doesn't care about destroying another person's life as long as she gets what she wants. Next up was the couple who break up in the beginning because after living together for seven years he still doesn't want to marry this woman that he professes to love. There's the issue-ridden wife who's married to the aforementioned man who has shacked up with the yoga teacher. There's the editor of a gay magazine trying to get a date with a man and can't seem to find a good one. Oh yeah, there's also the bar tender who uses women and seems like a jerk but somehow turns into a good guy a little later on. Then there's the other man that is also sleeping with the yoga princess and thinks he's madly in love with her.

Confused yet? I sure was.

I came away with two thoughts prevalent in my mind.

1) I'm so thankful I'm not in the dating scene anymore. Marriage is difficult but so is going out on blind dates and whatnot. If I'm ever tempted to wish I were single again I will call this movie to mind and thank my lucky stars I'm not trying to find that special someone in bars and clubs who will love me for me.

***Note to my much loved single friends: I'm not trying to poke fun or make anyone feel bad for going on dates. The truth is the enemy loves to taunt married women on a bad day that thier lives would be so much better if they were single again, able to go out with friends and breathe a little excitement into what becomes a rather dull life at times...
***Another note: I do believe the enemy taunts the single girls too with the lie that they can only be happy or useful if married and with children. That is simply NOT true. Some of the women I respect the most are single and living for Christ regardless of being in a relationship or not...

and on that note lets go on to...

2)All of the relationships the movie portrayed were immensely depressing fabrications of what true love really is. Each and every couple was looking out for numero uno. None of them cared about the other person involved or those who would be hurt because of their decisions. The yoga instructor didn't care that this man's wife would be shattered to know of her husband's infidelity and she didn't care for her other male friend with whom she would fool around with when her chips were down. She would use him over and over again.

This world has love all upside down. Love means sacrificing yourself for the good of the other person, even if it hurts you or kills you in the process. Love isn't all about happy, giddy feelings and running hand-in-hand through fields as the sun sets and the credits role. There's a reason most good romantic movies end when the couple kisses, its because after that kiss you have to start the real work. After the pastor announces the bride and groom as Mr. & Mrs, the rice is thrown in the air, and the happy couple arrives home from their honeymoon the real work of love begins.

True love is not expressed on the wedding day as much as it is on the days when the entire family comes down with the stomach flu and you have to clean the bathroom after your spouse throws up.
~Its expressed on the days when the paychecks are low and another baby is on the way and instead of blaming your husband for what you don't have, you thank him for working so hard for the family.
~Its expressed when the doctor diagnoses cancer and the husband must take care of his wife over several grueling years.
~Its expressed in the everyday life of making dinners and doing laundry.
~Its expressed in the most heart-breaking moments of grief
~It's expressed in the joyful tears when the baby you've been trying for finally arrives.
~Its the kind of love that sees you through the tears, the laughter, the joy and sorrow, the hard years and happy years.


There is an amazing singer/songwriter named Andrew Peterson. He has written a beautiful, heart-breaking song called "Love is a Good Thing." I can't hear it without crying because it's the most honest song I've heard about love. I'm going to check out whether or not I can print the lyrics to it before I do so but if you haven't heard it I recommend reading or listening to it. He describes love in it's most difficult times as well as in the good times, but regardless of how hard it is it's still a good thing to do.

True love is sacrificial, it's the laying down of one's life for another, in the good times and bad. Sometimes Josh and I will look at our wedding pictures and we'll chuckle and ask "what were we thinking?" We weren't thinking too much. We were young, idealistic, selfish, stubborn, spoiled (that was me) and armed only with many prayers from our parents and other couples who knew better then we did. Sometimes in my lowest moments I have to remind myself of what the Lord has done in my life over the last eleven years. Over the years He has shown me what love really looks like so that I can spot the counterfeit when I see it. That counterfeit is usually from movie-land and comes in different shapes, sizes, and stories, but its fake all the same.

Don't get your ideals of love from Hollywood or books, don't take relationship advice from people who don't know what true love looks like...

...and don't forget the ONE who is love personified in every way imaginable. He is died to show you what love really looks like and He did it while we still hated Him.

Now that's True Love!