Sometimes being a mom is a very difficult job to do, especially when you want to do something else. Back in October my husband asked me to get a job to help out with finances and such. It wasn't something I wanted to do at all. In fact, it scared me to death. Ten years had passed since my last job and I couldn't figure out how it would all pan out with both of us working. After a lot of talking I told him I would pray and look around. Much to my surprise I found a job and got it. I was so excited that someone found me employable that I bounced off walls for the next few days. After the nervousness wore off and I felt comfortable with my duties as a makeup artist for a department store, I found myself enjoying working outside of the home. I loved getting dressed up and talking with other adults, the artistic side of me flourishing as I painted fresh faces on tired women. They felt better about themselves and my confidence grew with each new work day.
Unfortunately, while I was excelling at work, my house was leaving little to be desired. The laundry seemed to be procreating in the basket, dirty dishes multiplied themselves in the sink and my exhausted babysitters, which were also family members, scattered when I came into the room for fear of being asked for "just one more favor, please." I was at the end of myself and quickly falling apart emotionally and physically.
Finally Josh put his foot down and said he'd had enough, I was quitting my job the following day. I wanted to fight for this job I loved so much but I had no energy to form the words for the argument. In my heart I knew it was the right thing to do but another part of me wanted to keep the more glamorous job.
Let's face it, it's easier to go to work than stay at home and be a full time mom and housewife. For the first time in my life I realized how addicting it was to be with other adults, making new friends, receiving thanks for menial jobs, and praise for something I was actually good at. The truth is, I'm not very good at housekeeping. I like having a clean home but I don't like the actual cleaning itself. Laundry is just not that creative, dish washing is mindless and cleaning the bedrooms is repetitive when you have to do it every single day, all day long. Don't even get me onto the parenting subject. Most of my sentences consist of "Don't hit your brother" and "No rear-naked-choke holds when wrestling in the house (UFC term my three boys and hubby have picked up...and tried)." This is a thankless job most of the time. But don't they say that the harder jobs are the most rewarding? I don't know who says it exactly, probably a mom. But it's true.
Yeah, I love playing with makeup. Yeah, I would love to pursue these friendships with my co-workers. Yeah, I feel like I'm letting them down by quitting so soon...but am I also letting my children down? There is a scene in Cheaper by the Dozen when Steve Martin quits his job as a coach and when asked if he would regret this decision to give up his dream job he responded, "If I screw up raising my kids nothing I achieve will matter much."
That's how I feel. If I fail at this job of being a mom and wife then nothing else will matter in my life. The four little people I come home to at the end of the day is what makes this mom hat the most important one I wear. I'm not just raising scads of children, I'm raising the next generation. What I do now will affect their little lives and what they pursue in the not too distant future.
Last night I lay in bed, feeling yucky from a cold and trying to read a book. My six-year-old son came in and asked if I was feeling any better. I said no I wasn't. He said OK and left the room quietly. I heard him as he walked down the hall towards his brothers and sister, "Hey guys, we need to pray (sounded like pway) for mom, 'cause she's not feeling good." Their playful bantering quieted down as they asked Jesus to help me feel better. Now, that's what makes all the chores, cleaning and disciplining worth doing well no matter who's watching or what accolades I don't receive.
Sure, I'll miss getting dressed up for work and socializing, but I'll make up for it when I snuggle with my four-year-old daughter and watch a Barbie movie, ooh and aah over my Kindergartner's picture he drew of us, and listen to the escapades of my two oldest boys and what they learned at school that day. It may not be an exciting career choice to some, but it's one of the most important ones I'll ever have in this lifetime.
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